Mujahida

Mujahida

To do something, when you don't feel like doing something.
When your friends are telling you to do something.
When Shaitan is telling you to do something.
When your nafs is telling you to do something.
And you still make the effort of not doing that, that is mujahida.
Allah loves that mujahida.

Allah takes pride in people making mujahida.

Mujahida has to be made initially. And then it will translate into effortlessness.
Case in point salat. And then Fajr. This is the fruit of constant Mujahida.

If you keep doing it, keep doing it, Allah tala will give you episodes of sabr, shukr, takwa.

At first you have to make constant insistent mujahida, and it gradually starts becoming easier, and it gradually starts becoming effortless.

Eventually the whole process becomes easier. The Deen becomes second nature. The nafs becomes happy to be on deen.

For a true seeker, there's no difference between his/her spiritual state during Ramadhan and outside of Ramadhan. Except that they fast and do taraweeh.

If we're so stubborn that we go to gatherings, and we still don't make any effort. We go for hajj, umra, ehtikaaf, and still won't make effort. When a person gets so stubborn they get fixated on their idlenss, stubbornness, and they waste time on futile or even unlawful things. Then they have only themselves to blame.

In this tareeka, the only thing that Can keep a person back is the lack of effort!

May Allah accept us for this path!


Source: http://www.islamicspirituality.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Time-for-Effort.mp3

Faith - all that you need

Bits bout Typography

It's not a typo, I omitted the a on purpose. What purpose? Hahahaha...

So, one of these days, in the finals week, I decided, that instead of studying for my exams, I should read up some articles on Typography. After all, that's what one should do after one has spent the entire night typesetting one's resume that one has already submitted, before the exam day. What better way to escape from responsibilities than developing you aesthetic sense?

My exams aren't over, so I am still reading. Haha

So I googled, and came upon a number of nice looking polished articles. Finished one, the other one had links to four more, opened them up. Though 'Hey! This is cool stuff, I should bookmark it!' and discovered they were already in my bookmarks, and I hadn't read them. So I thought, might as well read them this time.

So one of them, is a very nice tutorial for beginners. I already know this stuff. But well, didn't I tell you about the important things to do before exam? Yeah...

So, this one site Interactive Guide to Blog Typography is an interactive type to blog typography. Hahaha... I mean it's really nice. As you can already see, all the rules the blogger mentions are already in place on my blog. But I will summarize them below. Why? I think by now you know better than to feel this curiosity.

Summary:

• Frame the content with whitespace
• Don't have distracting elements next to text
• Measure: 50~90 characters in a line are good for readability
• Leading should be 1.5em. For longer measures, increase; for shorter ones, decrease
• For titles, set tracking = 1.1
• Use one font. At most two
• For body copy, use fonts that are hinted (mathematically adjusted to be used on pixel grids)
• Use big enough font size for body copy. Recommended: 16px. I personally like 18px. Use even bigger for fonts with smaller x-height (like Crimson Text). Since I use such fonts, I guess that's why I like 18px
• Create Visual hierarchy with font sizes. Don't pick font sizes randomly, size2/size3 should have the same ration as size1/size2. Another designed makes the analogy of 'Font scale' with musical notes. Either they're in harmony, or discord. So choose wisely. You can use modularscale.com
• As in print, don't use the darkest black. Use like #444 or #222
• Use small caps. But in cases where they don't exist, and you use font-variant (as in my blog) the problem is clearly visible, as the text appear lighter than its neighbours

Other Good Resources for Typography

• Butterick's Practical Typography
• Thinking with Type

Quotes from Rujuta Divekar

This piece is a work in progress.

Typography

Immaculate typography is certainly the most brittle of all the arts. To create a whole from many petrified, disconnected and given parts, to make this whole appear alive and of a piece - only sculpture in stone approaches the unyielding stiffness of perfect typography. For most people, even impeccable typography does not hold any particular aesthetic appeal. In its inaccessibility, it resembles great music. Under the best of circumstances, it is gratefully accepted. To remain nameless and without specific appreciation, yet to have been of service to a valuable work and to the small number of visually sensitive readers - this, as a rule, is the only compensation for the long, and indeed never-ending, indenture of the typographer.

— Overheard on the Internet

Random Blurb

When I was coming to America... in the first few days, I thought I would always be writing to this blog, every now and then, about every this and that. Actually no, not every this and that, but I thought I would be writing a Lot about halal food incidents... and how there would be so many incidents of me not eating, explaining, others arguing.... But that didn't happen... I guess I lost the passion to explain/educate people. And the ones I eat with, learned and respect my eating habits, and so things have been going in this department without any incident. So that's that.

I also thought I would lose a lot of weight. I think that every month. Hahaha... I think the reason really is that in my mind, I think that it's okay to be fat, if I can run and walk and job and lift and be strong and whatever. Also, I think that I think it's okay to overeat if you are gonna work out. I think I don't understand diet, while believing that I understand it. I mean, the coffee that I drink like water is 250 Calories! Anyway, quite recently, the plan has been to just workout, and forget about losing weight. I can't afford to forget about it, of course. Since this is an issue that needs urgent attention, if not certain.

I quite miss the folks in Pakistan. Specially Nabeel bhai - which just reminds me - he sent a message a couple weeks ago to tell me to respond when I see it, and I haven't... oops... will do that now... *goes away* back... done that. I just called him from Google Voice, but he didn't pick up. Hopefully he will see the missed call and call back. Or at least know that I called. Either way, I will write him an email to tell a few things. That's one person I have sorely missed.

Another person that I have missed is Meraj Khattak. Ab unka main kia kahoon! he was like an elder brother that I never had. This guy... May Allah kepe him happy forever. This life and the next.

Basically... most of the world these days is filled with asses. People who think being proven right is the cool thing. People who think coming up with snide remarks is a good thing. People who think being badass in life is a good thing. People who'd go the extra mile to take revenge. To prove themselves. People who "don't take shit". People who "can be a bitch when it's needed". And so is the case with America, and so was the case with Pakistan. But when in Pakistan, I had the good fortunate of being in the company of Nicest people around! Who'd constantly be scared of saying anything wrong, who would strive to see the greatness in people, who would forgive and ask for forgiveness, people who knew a lot, yet never acted too confident, who always attributed knowledge and success to Allah, who left you feeling good about yourself. Who told you your problems, with solutions, in private. Who didn't insult, mock, taunt, swear, backbite, laugh at, talk down, or argue. These are the people I miss.

Decision Making and Negotiation

Anchoring - the right way to start
BATNA - Best Alternative to the Negotiated Agreement. What happens if you don't come to an agreement. Let me be clear what are my benefits and costs of negotiations.
Emotions - could be in favor/against you. What emotions do you want there to be?

When fighting, at the end one of the two will one. But the longer the fighting goes on, both parties lose more, in the sense that both are miserable. So the earlier the parties can agree on who's going to win, the less both parties will suffer.

"Yes Dear" is a good thing to say.

If you reward people for behavior that they're intrinsically motivated to do, after a while, the reward takes the place of the intrinsic motivation, and people aren't intrinsically motivated.

So, don't get rewarded in money for stuff you love doing. Just don't do it for the money.

Principle of Loss Aversion

People hate losing more than they love gaining.

So if I want to enforce people to behave a certain way, fining them for undesirable behavior will be more effective than rewarding them for desirable behavior.

So, punishment is more effective than rewards.

But what happens when you take them away? In which case, does the behavior continue?

In case of punishments, the behavior resumes to what it was. In case of rewards, the newly learned behavior goes on.

So, while present, punishment maybe more effective than reward. But if you want the behavior to continue, you should reward.

source: I am taking this Irrational behavior course on coursera.org taught by Dan Ariely from Duke, so all these psych posts in the next few days will be from there.

Dog Poop Problem

Two kinds of signs for a rule: 

1. The sign board that says we shouldn't do it. 

2. The clues that everybody else is doing it. 

Which one would you follow? The second is Most important. 

Okay. So How we do we go from one situation where one thing we're trying to curb is the accepted norm?

First - there's never a good day to enforce (regulate) it. There's no smooth transition. There's has to be a quick transformation. So, announce a day that the change is going to occur. Have people subscribe to it, so they all have agreed to it. Then start using huge fines to start curbing it that day. 

source: https://class.coursera.org/behavioralecon-002/lecture/135

Tonight I am happy because I am sad for you.

The Planning Fallacy

Whenever you're planning for some activity, try estimating it will take you twice as long, and then it might get done on time.

Few things I learned

That I am slowly losing...

1. Not indulging in gheebat. Not even letting the general conversation go in that direction. Not only not doing it, but not even letting it happen.

2. Being thankful about everything that happens, that is happening.

3. Seeing the good in everyone.

4. Not seeing the bad in everyone. There's good and bad in Everyone, so you can see bad if you set your mind to it. You have to train yourself to not see it. I had started doing it. Now I am seeing bad in others once again.

5. Remembering Allah when I feel lonely, so never feeling lonely. Losing this one slowly too.

6. Being comfortable with being by myself. Now I seem to require company.

7. Reading. Haven't read anything in a long time.

8. Writing. This one's kinda obvious, to you guys at least? No? Well, actually not. I have private blogs, that are now gathering dust. So yeah.

What? How?!

The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. "Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?" he asked.
"Begin at the beginning," the King said gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop."

(Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Chapter 12)

"...research shows that low-level distractions can make a task feel boring..."

source: http://www.howcast.com/videos/413809-How-to-Study-for-a-Long-Time-without-Getting-Bored?p=7345

Thoughts

Everyday, you are going to have 60,000 conscious thoughts. And  each of these thoughts is either going to be bringing you closer to achieving your goals, or further away.

Lord's Prophets

Lord's prophets are not men in fancy cloths.

How to respond to rudeness

Read Quote of Marcus Geduld's answer to When you have a tattoo/tattoos and someone asks, "Don't you respect yourself?", how do you respond to it? on Quora

The God Argument

The problem of evil:

"Is he [God] willing to prevent evil, but not able? then is he impotent. Is he able, but not willing? then is he malevolent. Is he both able and willing? whence then is evil?" - Hume, David. "Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion".

But. If God doesn't exist, how do you define evil and good? What is good then, and what is evil? If there is no God, there's no evil, and there's no good. It's true that we're all wired to be 'moral'; and from a religious perspective, that makes perfect sense. But outside of the context of religion, why would the murder be wrong? Why would curing cancer be wrong? Why would creating cancer-like virus be evil?

If we agree that outside the context of religion, there's no good, and no evil, then we know that the problem of evil necessitates the existence of God. 

Why then God enables us to evil? Didn't he foresee the problem that would come arise of it?

Well He could have made us automatons. But we couldn't have loved, if we couldn't have hated. And then, there wouldn't be any choice, and then there wouldn't be any evil.

Okay. But He could have at least stopped the nature's disasters from happening. Well He could have. But He didn't. He is God. The good thing about that you don't have to seek anyone's approval. 

-- This is a work in progress. Will complete as mood be --

Wounds

The wound is the place where the Light enters you. 

Mowlana Rumi

Expertise

Life is short, [the] craft long, opportunity fleeting, experiment treacherous, judgment difficult.

—  Hippocrates (c. 400BC)

Tere ishq ne mujhay Ghum dia,
Mere ghum ki Umr daraz ho!

Ask and you shall receive

Things just got serious. Like three hours ago.

Let's do this.

Step 1. Slice off the crap out of your life. Just focus on what's important. The detrimental and wasteful would distance itself from you automatically.

On my fifth trip to France I limited myself to the words and phrases that people actually use. From the dog owners I learned “Lie down.” “Shut up,” and “Who shit on this carpet?” The couple across the road taught me to ask questions correctly, and the grocer taught me to count. Things began to come together, and I went from speaking like an evil baby to speaking like a hillbilly. “Is thems the thoughts of cows?” I’d ask the butcher, pointing to the calves’ brains displayed in the front window. “I want me some lamb chop with handles on ’em.”

— David Sedaris. Me Talk Pretty One Day

The smell of frying bread in butter, is the bread and butter, of the lonely chef.

Marcus on Writing

Some tips on writing from here


Write with your audience in your mind. Feel free to go as far as to imagine you're writing personally to one person. That person is your average-audience-person.

'One of the writer's main jobs is managing cognitive overload. If a reader has to keep more than three or four things in his head at once—or feels like he might have to—he's likely to shut down. Big walls of text often zonk readers before they even start reading. Really long paragraphs simply look daunting.'


You can use plot, characters or sensuality to entice the reader to carry one. Use verbs that entice imagery, that kind that you want your reader to feel while he/she's reading.

Another thing to keep in mind that humans think in terms of agents i.e. doers. So mention the agents where ever possible. In fact, tell a story, with a character. Humans like if there's a plot, more if there's a character, even more if the character is relatable. 

Say, "Indeed, my Lord has guided me to a straight path - a correct religion - the way of Abraham, inclining toward truth. And he was not among those who associated others with Allah." Say, "Indeed, my prayer, my rites of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah , Lord of the worlds. No partner has He. And this I have been commanded, and I am the first [among you] of the Muslims." Say, "Is it other than Allah I should desire as a lord while He is the Lord of all things? And every soul earns not [blame] except against itself, and no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another. Then to your Lord is your return, and He will inform you concerning that over which you used to differ."

—  (6:161-164)

That Look!

She looked at me in rather a rummy way. It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury time.

— P.G.Wodehouse. My Man Jeeves.1919.

Remember, misery is comfortable. It's why so many people prefer it. Happiness takes effort.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person_p2/#ixzz2nsK5enza

Following is a transcription of 10-minute part of a bayan delivered by Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed.

“I will end with you with two ayahs of the Quran-e-Kareem. Three ayahs of the Quran-e-Kareem. And if we can reflect on these ayats. If we can watch out for these ayats. If we can be weary of these ayats. And if in the end we can live by these ayats. Then Allah ta'ala will make us people of Quboolia , Inshallah give us tawfeeq to become people of Qubooliah.

First Ayat. Very scary ayat. Not scary the way you think. Not about Jahannah. Very scary ayah, because it describes our haqeeqat. Very scary ayah because it describes very specifically our haqeeqat. Allah swt says in quran:
That we will in the future, near future, slowly and surely bring you down in darajaa, in such a way that you won’t even realize. You will experience a gradual decline in your deen, in such a way that you won’t even realize. Before you used to do more ibadat. Gradually you will start doing less. Before you used to pray more tahajjud, gradually you will start praying less. Before you used to pray more nafl, gradually you will be praying less. Before you used to read some Quran, gradually you will start doing less. Before you used to be regular in your farz and wajibat, gradually you will start doing less. Before you used to leave sin, gradually you will start leaving less. Before you used to have some taqwa, gradually you will start having less. Allah o Akbar kabeera! This is what we all say. I was like this but I am going down. I am going down. What’s scary is not that you’re going down, but Allah ta’ala is taking you down. Why? because we don’t have have qabooliat. The early muslims used to worship the whole night and used to say Ya Allah we have not worshipped  you as it was your right to be worshipped. They used to stand most of the night in worship and at the time of dawn, they were making Istaghfar. That we have gone down. We are slowly but surely as an ummat going down. Some of us as individuals slowly and surely are going down. 

And second Ayat. Allah swt says in Quran-e-Kareem that on the day of judgement, there will be a group of people. Who think they’re momineen. Who even felt that they were saliheen. There will be a group of people who felt that we’re a people of eman and amal. There will be a group of people who will be feeling that maybe we will be going to jannah. And Allah swt will issue an order on them.  Stop them. Un ko rok lo. Rok dijiye usko. Us se sawal pochna hai. Woh masool hoga. Iski maine khabar leni hai. Is ne meri rehnat se nahin jana. Is ne meray adal insaf ka mawazna karna hai. Masooloon. (Stop him. He shall be questioned. He shall be answerable. I have to grill him. He doesn’t depend on my mercy, he wants to test me justice) Allah o Akbar kabeera! These days we get scared. We don’t want to be stopped in immigration. We don’t want to be stopped in the visa line. Mangtay hain humain dua hain parhnay k liye main bahar ja raha hoon. Oh Allah k banday, us din agar roka jaiga. Us din agar yeh ayat ham per parhi jaye. (People ask for prayers they can recite so they can travel abroad without troubles. Oh my dear, what will happen if this ayat is recited to us on that day?) Stop them! Allah o Akber kabeera! Who is going to answer those sawalat? Who can face that meezan? Who is going to be able to do that hisab? Who is going to survive that adl? Allah o Akbar kabeera. 

And last, to show you one story. Ibne Jauzi Rahimullah Al Hanbali and Shaykh-ul-Hadees Maulana Zakariyya Kandhelvi Rahimullah Al Hanafi have mentioned a very famous story. A very famous story of Shaykh Abdullah Andalusi Rehmatullah Alaih who is the shaykh of Shibli. Allah o Akbar! Shaykh of Shibli. That he was travelling once. Travelling for the sake of the deen. Travelling for the khidmat of the deen. Travelling with the tulaba of the deen. A big alim and muhaddis also by the way. One of the great muhadditheen of his era. And when he was walking by. he happened to walk by a place in which there was christian house of worship. And he saw some christians. And he saw the cross. And he thought to himself in his heart silently. That how foolish are these people that they worship this cross. Bus. That’s all he thought. That how foolish are these people that they worship this cross. Then when they reached a stop and we went to a well, his eyes fell upon a woman. You know Sayyidina Rasoolullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam said in a hadith that shaytan uses a woman. Doesn’t mean the woman is bad necessarily. That shaytan uses the dunya to ensnare and entrap the person Shaytan may use the beauty of the dunya to ensnare and entrap the person. So shaykh Abdullah Andalusi, Al muhaddis ul kabeer. Waliullah. Shaykh of Shibli. His gaze fell on that woman. He became empty. He told his students. Leave me. Allah o Akbar Shaykh! he told his students Leave me. I am for her now. He asked around who is this girl. The people of the village said that she is the daughter of so and so. He went and knocked on the door and he said I would like to propose for your daughter. So he said that we’re christian. You look like you’re muslim. Yes. I can only give you my daughter if you stay with me one or two years. Apko dekhna paray ga. (I will have to observe you) In those one or two years. No salah for you. okay. Nothing, no Quran for you. Okay. In those one or two years, you will be not my shepherd. My pigherd. I have a herd of pigs. You will herd them. You will wash them. You will clean them. You will tend to the pigs. Okay. Allah o Akber kabeera. All the students of the shaykh couldn't believe their eyes. That shaykh they used to see on the mimber of the masjid. that shaykh who used to give darse hadees to thousands of students. That shaykh who used to give darse zikr and tazkiya to thousands of mureedeen. But one by one the students went back. There was one student. This is part of the qabooliat of the shaykh to have such a student. The student’s name was Shibli. Shibli came back. He couldn’t stand being without the shaykh. So went back. He came back to that town. He looked for the shaykh. He found the shaykh. And he saw the condition the shaykh was in. So he went to shaykh and asked him, Shaykh you were a hafiz of the quran, do you still remember quran? and he said no. I have forgotten the entire quran except one ayat of the quran. So he said what is that ayat. Allah o Akbar kabeera. Shaykh recited this ayat. Quran. Azeem us shan. Kalam. of zuljalal e intekam. Jiski ihanat allah tala karta hai, jiski tauheen allah tala karta hai. Jisko zaleel Allah tala karta hai, koi usko izzat nahin de sakta. Yeh ayat mujhay yaad hai.() Shibli. Mureed e haqiqi. Talib e haqiqi. Shagird e haqiqi pareshan. That that person that Allah swt lowers and abases. There’s no power that can give that person izzat again. Then he said shaykh you were hafiz of hadees, do you still remember hadees? Hafiz of hadees is that person who knew one hundred  thousand riwayat with sanad. He says I forgot all of hadees except one. Allah o Akbar! which hadees? Shaykh said jo apnay deen ko tabdeel karta hai usko katal karo. Allah O akbar! Shaykh, yeh hadees! Shibli started crying and making dua to Allah swt and then he walked and he left. He left and he went back. That shaykh only remembered this ayat. He only remembers this hadees. And when he was walking back, at some point he saw shaykh again. Back. Looking like shaykh. So he said shaykh Abdullah Andalusi. Aap kese? yahan kese? Shakyh said when you left, when you were crying and making dua to Allah swt. I was alone. Then I started crying. And then I started making dua to Allah swt. Ya Allah! Yeh to mera mureed tha. Ya Allah yeh tou mera shagird tha. Appnay mujay itna bhi gaya guzra kardia. Itna zaleel kardia. Itna mehroom kardia. itna mardood kardia. Main toba karta hoon. Tooba. (This was my pupil! This was my student! You degraded me so much? You abased me so much? Rejected me so much? I repent.) How to go in the fast way from mardood to makbool? Main tooba karta hon Ya Allah.. main is durangi se tooba karta hoon. Is bad denaati se tooba karta hon. is bewafai se tauba karta hoon. Mujhay rona naseeb huwa. Then shaykh says Allah accepted my repentence. Then I started to remember all of the Quran Kareem again. Then I started remembering all of the hadees again. And then shaykh Abdullah Andalusi went on to become one of the most maqbool awliya of Allah. One of the most maqbool muhadditheen. It is written in the biographies of muhadditheen that his dars of hadees after this incident was many times larger than his dars of hadees before this incident. So through his tauba. Through his humility. Though his realization. Through his worry that I have become rejected by Allah swt. Shaykh Abdullah Andalusi was able to return himself. And make himself makbool to Allah swt. So we can make this niyyat again on this night. That Ya Allah Ya rabbe kareem. You have said in Quran Oh Allah you yourself have said in quran that you have bought us from us. That you have bought ourselves, our health, our wealths our property. All that we have, we’re sold. Ya Allah hum bhi bikay huway hain. Ya Allah aap tou khareednay walay hain. Aap ne tou khareed lia. Ya Allah aapkay karam aur shafkat k khilaf hai k aap humain mardood karen. K aap khareedi hui cheez ko lotain. K aap khareedi hui cheez ko radd karen. Jitnay bhi khotay hum sikkay hain. Jitnay bhi buray hum musalman hain. Ya Allah hum phir bhi aapkay bikay huway hain. Aapkay hawalay bikay huway hain. Allah tala hamari bhi maghfirat kubol farmain. hamari bhi tauba kubol farmain. Humain bhi apnay momineen main shamil farmain. Humain bhi apnay makbooleen main shamil farmain, humain apni kuboliat naseeb farmain. Wa Aakhir -ud dawana...

Yet Another To-do List

Yet Another Todo List.

I keep making the lists of stuff I want to write about... and I keep forgetting the stuff I need to write about those stuff... so the lists stay.. mocking me.. teasing me... I wonder why it happens... I guess it happens because I keep waiting for the right mood... the right zone... when words are already flowing out of my ... where do words exactly flow out of when you're writing a blog? mouth? mind? hands? keyboard? whatever... so... I keep waiting for when I am in the right zone... and then those thoughts, those incidents, those stories... they remain untold, and fade away and get buried in the graveyard of so many such stories.

EDIT:

A friend came over when I was in the middle of writing this one. The paragraph above was only meant to be an introduction to an actual list :)

I have had some travelling recently... (Will it be called recently? It was in the last four months) and I have some stories to tell from that. I always have stories. Just a couple of nights ago, I remember saying to a friend 'so something amazing happened today...' and he cut me right there.. Saad amazing things keep happening to you all the time... so let it pass. I guess it what he really meant was that I have a knack of describing ordinary things as amazing. Amazing is that which amazes. I get amazed at seemingly ordinary things. It's a misfortune other people don't. They need to spend so much time and effort just to get amazed.

I made a trip to Ohio. That was in October. It was a very refreshing trip. I mat few great great people. I just realized what I had been missing out on in terms of spirituality since coming here. Great company really shows you what poor company is. I realized I have been, and usually am, in a very poor, negative company. It's better to be alone than that.

Even before this trip, there was another trip, to Austin, Texas. That had a couple of stores I actually can share here. I will write about them when they want to come out of me. Now... now my eye lids just feel heavy. And I have made the mistake of drinking coffee... so while my eyes feel like they need rest... my brain totally wants to work... ah... the brain... my brain is an ass.

What else? Hmmm... I can't remember... Let me come up with a name for that friend of mine... the one who came over when I had just begun to write this post... though I am always very cautious of calling someone my 'friend' - that word has a lot of Claim to it. A lot of promise. It means I would have to do so many things. So I prefer to keep people at distance. As associates? acquaintances. Not all people though. Some people I make friends with in three of four meetings. Others I just like. Like to help, that is. I will come up with a name later. Or ask him.

Some people from South Africa came here. Why? They traveled all the way for SA to here. With their wives. For forty days. You already know where this is going, don't you? They came here to meet Muslims, and remind us what our purpose in life is. For some, it's a reminder, for some it's news. It's amazing how people call themselves Muslim, and forget what it means. One of my professors used to say... Being a non-practicing Muslim is like being a non-practising virgin. It just doesn't make sense! You can say you find it difficult to do so, but you can't just say you don't choose to. You have chosen to! Already! If you didn't choose to, and are not fine with it. Then resolve it... it's not a small thing that can be just dusted off, it has to be understood, believed in. Perhaps - we all think about it. We all question it when push comes to shove. For most people it's a mid-life crises. That's exactly the time when they ask themselves, what's it all about? So those people came. From South Africa. And I hung out with them in the masjid. It was great experience. A good reminder. I made some resolutions. Some plans. So far, so good. Let's see. I don't know. Great things happened. My sleep cycle is now perfect... Haha.. those who know me, would know this is something I have always struggled with. And this has also been the biggest problem in my life. My sleep. Now it's okay. For past.... 5 days? I guess... hahaha... Let's see.

What other stories? I was coming from masjid one day. It was morning time, 8 am probably. 4 degrees C below freezing. The dew on the grass and the cars has frozen, making it look like there was thick white dust on every thing. The grass looked as it was tired and old. It's hair greying, growing white. It was cold. I was talking on phone with my mom for a good fifteen minutes, and my right hand had gotten pretty cold. The bus came. I got onto the bus. Darryl said 'Assalam O Alykum' - he always greets me with salam. I always shake hands with him. My hand was very cold. He was in the bus, warm. He took his right glove off to shake hands. He could have done it with the glove on. Haaye! Ikhlas... Allah hum sabko bhi ikhlas ata farmaye. 

How to find and do work you love: Scott Dinsmore

Content?

Regarding the good amal that you're doing in an satisfied way, or not doing. You should not feel bad. But you should think of increasing it. Never feel bad. Always feel thankful and blessed to be able to as much as you're doing.

When a person raises his hands to pray for something, he should feel thankful for getting the blessing of getting the idea of praying to Allah for that thing. That itself is something one should feel thankful for.

Quote, Unquote

There is nothing more dangerous than to leap a chasm in two jumps.

— David Lloyd George

Aqli na ban, Qalbi ban

Reported by Abu Hurairah (RA): The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "Do not ask me unnecessarily about the details of the things which I do not mention to you. Verily, the people before you were doomed because they were used to putting many questions to their Prophets and had differences about their Prophets. Refrain from what I forbid you and do what I command you to the best of your ability and capacity".

Some perspective.

And when you're with the lovers long enough,
The crazy becomes natural,
and the natural becomes lame.

I feel like talking, but I have nothing to talk about.

I could go on and on about my day, or days, but they haven't been interesting.

I stopped working out. I don't know why. Cold? Laziness? I don't know. I can't just shove everything I don't do, or back out from doing under the blanked of 'laziness'; because... what is laziness, really? Is it a property in me that I can't change? Or a habit I have acquired? So out of the blue I just stopped working out because I have a habit of being lazy? Why did that habit kick in then, and not later? Because it got tougher then? And I like doing easy things? Because the risk of failure increases and I am scared of failure? As I write this, these are the ideas that my mean friend, the back of my mind, is giving me. But you know that? I would totally believe except that this time, with this workout thing, it wasn't the case. The workout was tough to begin with, if anything it got easier as I learned and mastered the correct techniques. So No. I can't agree to this line of reasoning of habit of laziness kicking in.

What is it then?

I don't know.

This post isn't even about working out, or not working out, or laziness, or what laziness is... It isn't even about anything. One thing programming, or being a student of programming and discrete maths and logic and philosophy, and being a student of Basit Bilal Koshul has has taught me, is to keep a track of how my argument (if it's an argument, if not, then... view?) is flowing from one concept to the other. And I often realize that I am talking, and not connecting to the initial point (when I have it)... sometimes I stop mid-discourse, and admit to not having an initial intention... and shut up.

So? What was I saying? that I wanted to talk... that I didn't have anything to talk about. That my days have become lazy, pointless. I need a haircut. I am insecure about my hair. I hate it how I lost so much hair when I dieted the last time, now, even if I grow then long, they just look... they don't look like hair. I will get them cut short. I don't grow them long. Whatever.

Two coffees. I have had two coffees since getting up, in the last six or so hours. I was so excited when I had made my first cup. That I would read something. But before I get in to reading something serious from the books, I wanted to waste some time online. That was a deliberate choice. You know, the enjoy kind of wasting? The indulgence? Except that, I didn't decide how I was gonna do it, and how much I was gonna do it. And guess what, I didn't even waste it, it just got wasted. I didn't even do the things I do to waste time! And I wasn't even entertained. Heck I didn't even read any intellectual masterbation articles! I didn't even chat with anyone! I called my mom, and asked her to have skype with me, and even that didn't even happen! I didn't even text back the people I had missed calls from! There was nothing even on facebook or tumblr to waste time with. I guess that's when I had another coffee? I don't know... had cereal. both times today. Had sandwiches in between. Nothing that made me happy. If only I had walked to the Pizza Hut, and had even a pizza, that would have qualified as genuine time waste! That would have made me do serious reading. Mind you, this reading also, is not my course reading.. it's just.. somehow, it's connected to some goals in life. And so, in my heart, I feel that if I do that, I would feel good about myself. And so my nafs wouldn't let me do that. If would say, if you want to enjoy so you can work, you need to do some useless effing thing so you can enjoy. What a loser state of mind to be in! What a loser habit to have?

Oh God. This exploratory post is not turning out so well.

Prayer. Isha is left, haven't offered Isha yet. That will help. That always does. Isha does. It puts me at peace, mostly.

Paper, term paper. I have to write. Still have a good one and a half day for it. Ah... well. Whatever.

Saad...tum bhi Saad.

Post Wake-up Ritual

I often spend time on Quora. And this is my favorite blog there http://thecuckoosnest.quora.com/ But this post isn't about that, it's about this bit I liked, and am sharing it here:

Read Quote of The 7 Bulletproof Secrets to Jump Out of Bed When the Alarm Clock Goes Off on Quora

How do you like it here?

Some more conversations from US.

I never said I was gonna paint all rainbows and sunshine.

E: Humain Lums main milna chahiye tha... main tumhain itna neechay na girna deta (We should have met earlier, when you were in college. I wouldn't have let you fall that low)

With regards to my transition to a rather religious lifestyle.

T: When I used to look at you, I used to fear kahin yah namoona Pakistan ka na ho (I feared this idiot isn't from the same country I am from) I was very happy when people told me you're from Afghanistan.

I am Not from Afghanistan.

T: So why don't you dress up like humans?

Regarding my following sunnat dress.

A: I told my friends you should meet him, he's not that bad.

Again, in reference to my appearance.

Please account for selective recall, given that I reproduce this all from my memory.

Also - a person processes thoughts different depending on which mood she's in right now, so I might have has different moments to post right now if I were in a different mood. Might.

How long will you last?

With this sickness?

The company you keep

When you're all by yourself. You are not alone, there is a universe inside you. That universe has all sorts of beings in it. Make sure you stay in touch with the right ones.