Procrastination

Procrastination can be a difficult habit to break, but there are several strategies you can use to overcome it:

1. Break tasks into smaller chunks: Large, overwhelming tasks can be daunting, which can lead to procrastination. To combat this, break the task down into smaller, more manageable chunks. This can make it feel less overwhelming and more manageable.
2. Set specific deadlines: Give yourself a deadline for when you want to have a task completed. This can help you to stay focused and motivated to complete the task on time.
3. Prioritize your tasks: Make a list of everything you need to do and prioritize them based on importance and urgency. This can help you to stay focused on what needs to be done and avoid getting bogged down in less important tasks.
4. Use the Pomodoro Technique: This is a time management method that suggests breaking work into 25-minute intervals with short breaks in between. It can help keep you focused and prevent procrastination by creating a sense of urgency.
5. Eliminate distractions: Identify and eliminate distractions that might be keeping you from getting your work done. This could include turning off your phone, closing unnecessary tabs on your computer, or working in a quiet space.
6. Hold yourself accountable: Share your goals and deadlines with a friend or family member, or even a colleague at work. This can help to create a sense of accountability and make it less likely that you will procrastinate.
7. Reward yourself: Once you have completed a task, give yourself a reward. This can be something simple like a cup of tea, or something more substantial like a longer break or a movie night with friends.
8. Address the underlying issues: if you find that you procrastinate frequently, it may be useful to examine if the underlying reason is anxiety, lack of motivation, or some other mental health issues, If that's the case, you might want to consider seeking help from therapist or counselor, they can help you to overcome the issues and help you to develop some coping strategies.

It is important to keep in mind that progress takes time and effort, and that it may be difficult to overcome procrastination in a short period of time. Be kind and patient with yourself.

The worst part about the beacon of positivity

 is that you have to tackle your demons yourself, alone. You report every positive news, share celebrations, and create love between people. When someone says a nice thing about someone else, you immediately report it. But when someone does a bad thing, a hurtful thing, and you're hurting, you can't share it with anyone. You gotta keep it yourself, bury it in the graveyard. You gotta be the bigger person, you gotta be resilient, you gotta move on. 

No one to console you big boy.

My weight loss - 5th attempt - Part 1

So I start again on this journey. This time, more knowledgeable, and also older, with slower metabolism, than before. Beaten a number of times.

A lot of things are different now. I have support! My wife (bless her soul!) is very supportive. In fact, all I have to do is just eat and sleep, and she can take care of cooking the mot nutritious and healthy food on which I'd automatically become healthy.

I started January 8. At around 142 Kgs. Sigh. I put on an extra 40 kgs in the last three years. They were, after all, a tough three years! But I am going back.

Today is January 19. So basically 5.5 weeks. So far the weight loss has been 9-10 kgs. I am stuck at 132 since last 1.5 weeks. I wonder what the reason is.

My goal weight is 75 kgs. Starting weight is 142 kg. So I had to lose 67 kgs. Of which now, only 58 remain.

If I continue to lose 1-2 kgs per week, it will take me from 8 to 16 months to lose it all. So far, the pace has been great. It has been 2 kg per week, but last week it's been zero. Let's see how it goes this week, then I will make some more changes.

Characteristics of a Vision

Taken from a talk by Suleman Ahmer of Timelenders.

1. Attainable
2.
3.
4. Clarity
5. Simplicity
6. Scale
7.Nobility
8. Loftiness/Greatness
9. Corrctness

This post is a WIP.

The story of my marriage

Alhamdulillah, summa Alhamdulillah, I got engaged. InshAllah I will be getting married.

I feel like making it a long long story, so I could come back to it, read it again and again, and cherish. But I know, I shouldn't bore the reader with excessive details.

Here's the summary:

I asked my dear friend Faryal Qasim to look for suitable matches for me in her circle. I asked her to use her strong presence on Social Media. She asked me what to post. I thought a lot about it, but in the end came up with this:

Religious guy looking for a girl who puts akhirat over dunya.

She got many responses. She told me about them, I pursed them etc etc. They had a lot of questions. A lot of the girls there wore scarf, and asked me if I was fine with them wearing scarf after marriage, or if I would force them to do niqab. I replied to each one of them, that I didn't want anyone to change for me, I didn't want to force anyone, I didn't want grievances. I just wanted someone, who was already compatible. Who already did niqab, who already wanted to live in Pakistan, etc etc. When Faryal heard my responses, she told me about her friend, who didn't wanna be forced in any way. But who did Niqab. Faryal warned me, she is feminist.

I sent her an email. I discovered, she was not a feminist. But a man hating person, whose reason for getting married was that it was Ibadat, Islamic. After a few email exchanges, and many many consultations, and istikhara, I agreed to go ahead with it. We called her mom.

Then they started doing their background search. They sent people to my village, did their recon. Finally, they came to see me (they live in ISB).

Her dad was not very pleased with a dude with beard and trousers above ankled. But he realised later on, that that's the kind of man her daughter would marry. So they agreed. And in that one phone call, I was engaged.

I haven't seen her. I haven't met her. I have talked to her on text a number of times, and I have talked to her on phone too. But we're not in touch. The Nikah is expected to be in May inshAllah. May Allah put barakaat in this union. I am looking forward to it, from the bottom of my heart.

She looks like a great person to be with :)

Counting Morsels

Recently I started practising this thing called "Drink your food, Eat your water". The idea is that you chew your food to a soft mushy pulp, that it's almost liquid, and then you drink it. It's supposed to be easy to digest. I get that. But why (or how) to eat water? Well, as it turns out this, maxim isn't based in science (though it has science to it), it's based in Tai Chi. Where they have thing called Chi, which is supposed to by life energy. You keep food longer in your mouth to make it absorb more chi. Like wise, if you need to keep the water in your mouth for longer, you have to swirl it around your mouth, or 'chew' it. So it absorbs chi.

But this chi claim is not as absurd as it may sound. It has a science to it too. You have saliva in your mouth, your saliva. With your genetic encoding and what not. When food or drink is filled with something that the body considers its own, the body digests it and absorbs it readily, it thinks, it's a friend. Otherwise, it treats it as a foreigner, and gives it a harsh treatment.

That's all well and good. And it's my third day chewing food to a liquid. There are many things I have found out.

1. I require less food. Almost half. 
2. I really enjoy food, that's one reason I ate a lot. But now, by eating slowly, I really really enjoy the food, and I don't have to eat a lot of it to do so. 
3. I can't talk while eating! For someone who considered eating a social activity, this is tough. But it's also liberating. In a way. 
4. I now only eat when I am hungry. I ask myself if the urge to eat arises, do you really wanna do the cumbersome process of grinding and chewing? And the answer is no unless I am hungry. 
5. I spend a lot of time eating! A full mean can take up 30 minutes! That also means I am still eating a lot... which is also meant by..
6. I need to excrete twice a day. Earlier I never thought about it, but I am literally spending 2 hours everyday just eating and shitting!

So today I decided to count the number of morsels I can eat in 15 minutes, since that's how much time I can guiltlessly allocate to my meals. As I sat down eating and counting, I thought why not count all the morsels required to eat my normal amount of food. It turns out, the amount of food I eat consists of 17 morsels! That's almost twice the recommended amount! (The recommended amount is nine).

This is very neat actually. I will start eating nine morsels from tomorrow. And ideally it should take 15 minutes. This resolution makes me nervous, since eating less scares me. Hunger scares me. I don't know why though :/

I am assuring myself, that I won't die. That if I feel hungry again, I can drink milk! (We have really good cow milk at our home!) And if even that doesn't help, I can have a fruit. Or maybe nuts. But only if I feel hungry.

So let's see what happens from tomorrow onwards.

You're eating that?

Today, uncle, aunts and sis came to the hospital to visit mom. I was in the cafe, they decided to join there, and asked me to get them coffee. I asked them how many cakes they wanted with it, they said two.

A thin pretty-ish young woman had sat right in front of where I had to come and sit. At first I sat there drinking, then I changed my seat cause I felt uncomfortable. She was having tea/coffee and a pastry.

So I was enjoying my tea, and generally talking, taking small sips from my tea, and "eating" it, and taking small bites from the sponge cake, and "drinking" it. When my Uncle says in Pushto "Look at their size, and look at the cake their eating" — I felt embarrassed, hurt and sad. And said, Okay Shakeel bhai, if you say so, I won't eat it. And I pushed the cake towards other people, to show I had withdrawn, with a smile.

But he wasn't talking me. He was talking about that girl. He meant, look how unhealthy her diet is, and how fit she looks.

But I took it upon myself.

Why? I am thinking about this more and more, ever since I discovered why I eat a lot. I have what they call Emotional Eating or Stress Eating. And there's a lot of symptoms associated with it, one them is negative body image and an embarrassment of eating. A person feels shame, when he/she eats. And to curb this negative emotion, a person eats (more).

Add to that the friends and family who wants to 'help' the individual, and 'motivate' him/her by shaming him, threatening him, embarrassing him, taunting him, making fun, and emotionally blackmailing.

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

Some of my officers are tasked with losing 3 kg/month for the next 5 months and inshallah they will lose 15 kg! After setting up the target, I gave them a game plan.
Even though you don't work for me :(, still you can lose weight. Here are 7 simple steps:

1. Reduce your intake of food. Follow the Sunnah of the Prophet (sas), one third food, one third water and one third empty.
2. Reduce carbs and increase proteins.
3. No food after 7:00 pm. If you miss the deadline then you are only allowed a glass of hot milk. I told my team to relax as, I assured them, they will not die of hunger.
4. Maintain regularity of three meals a day with a heavy breakfast.
5. Fasting twice a week as per Sunnah, Monday and Thursday.
6. 45 minutes of brisk walk a day.
7. If required, GM diet once a month (it is a wonderful diet spread over one week where you will lose from 2-5 kg in a week. I lost 3 kg when I tried it. You can google it)

It is that simple. Imagine the health benefits of losing those killer pounds and the freshness, alertness and beauty that comes with being fit!
Try it and let me know the results!
P.S. You don't have to work for Timelenders, Asnan Associates, Savdo Enterprises, Markhor Enterprises, Khanasaz builders and constructors, E-Reality Solutions or ITLenders to be able to lose weight :)

Suleman Ahmer's facebook

Things to do after waking up

1. Pray and Meditate
2. Revise High Impact Tasks
3. Read
4. Exercise Shared from Google Keep

Let's see

Zeeshan

In a chat with a friend, about Islam's position, and the positions of the educated people in today's age.

look the thing is
you need to choose which side you want to be on
and wholeheartedly

Zzz....

Assalam O alykum,

Lately, well, about 3-4 weeks ago. I started getting some severe headaches. Right part of the head, above my eye (please don't post your diagnosis or med-advice).

Long story short, (not really feel chatty right now) - started sleeping early and getting up early. So far I have defaulted only twice (only, hah!) once for sleeping late, that was Thursday night, and as a result for getting up late, that was today (Saturday).

Been reading up some stuff on sleep. This area has always fascinated me, and well, angered me. Cause people around me (friends/family) never really listen. My parents back home would give a fuck if I tell them to sleep (or let me sleep) at 10 pm. My friends, obviously, give a fuck too.

I have noticed, for me there's this small window, 10-11 pm. If I sleep in this window, well and good. If someone messes with me, starts up an arguments, angers me, or if I do anything mentally or physically arousing, and don't fall sleep, and the clock is way past 11 pm, then bam, I can't sleep. I can't sleep till 2 or 3, or whatever. Even if I had 2-3 hours sleep in the last 24 hours, even if I had gotten up at 5 am, and had worked out 2 hours.

Anyway, whining aside, so I have been reading about sleep. Found a couple of articles, very nice. Will share them here. I really wished I had written this post earlier than now, I actually have been feeling pretty nice lately, since Tuesday. My workout log shows regular workouts since Tuesday too!

The articles:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2007/10/how-to-wake-up-feeling-totally-alert/


This youtube series I listened to 1-2 years ago, I would love to say it changed my life, but it didn't www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jwPKn_9rJU

As a child, I was beaten by my uncle and scolded to go to bed early, that sort of built a negative association with sleeping early. In college, I got the full opportunity of staying up as late as I wanted and sleeping in as much as it suited, so late I slept and late I got up. Sometimes I wouldn't sleep till 8 am, and wouldn't' get up at 4 pm. Obviously, that messed me up big time. Add to that my fixation with staying online and reading crap, and voila! There you have it, a brain so messed up, that no doctor refrains from saying its chemistry is messed up, and every one of them seems to prescribe one thine - sleep the fuck early.

In Lums however, another thing happened. A very positive association was built with morning times too :) The breakfast at pdc was just a ... it was delight. The gym used to be empty after fajr, and so I had the time of my life when I did sleep early, got up early. There's only so much you can do when being social matters to you. So didn't develop this habit, so to speak.

Now, there are people giving all kinds of bullshit. 'I'm not a morning person' - 'My brain works well at night' 'My brain doesn't well in the mornings' 'I am not at my best in the morning'. I don't know about you, maybe you're alien and laws of medicine don't apply to you? Maybe you've become so smarter and known yourself so better laws of Allah don't apply to you anymore? Anyway. My brain - works SO well at night 2 am - that even if I am sleepy, and I get my hands on a puzzle, I can solve it in seconds. Programming assignment? I can do 4 hours of worth of programming in 2 hours. But here are the headaches, that really do feel like they will kill me, and here are the doctors, telling me to, go the fuck to sleep.

About one thing I really feel happy today. I missed my friends birthday party last night. Not because I had a headache, because I had to sleep early. Usually when I am missing something important, but something as 'useless' as sleep, then the sadness just keeps me up (remember the childhood reference?) - last night it didn't. I slept. I feel very proud, that was one step towards ditching all that keeps one away from sticking to what's right. There's gonna be so much more, I am afraid.

Enough rant, been in library planning to study since 2 pm. It's 3:09 now. Still have a lingering headache from waking up late, or whatever. And a gnawing anxiety that I won't get it done. It's this fear of failure that keeps from trying, trying in time, and succeeding. Amazing.

sunah hai rab hai isko kharab halon se, 
so apnay aapko barbaad karkay dekhte hain

Faith - all that you need

Random Blurb

When I was coming to America... in the first few days, I thought I would always be writing to this blog, every now and then, about every this and that. Actually no, not every this and that, but I thought I would be writing a Lot about halal food incidents... and how there would be so many incidents of me not eating, explaining, others arguing.... But that didn't happen... I guess I lost the passion to explain/educate people. And the ones I eat with, learned and respect my eating habits, and so things have been going in this department without any incident. So that's that.

I also thought I would lose a lot of weight. I think that every month. Hahaha... I think the reason really is that in my mind, I think that it's okay to be fat, if I can run and walk and job and lift and be strong and whatever. Also, I think that I think it's okay to overeat if you are gonna work out. I think I don't understand diet, while believing that I understand it. I mean, the coffee that I drink like water is 250 Calories! Anyway, quite recently, the plan has been to just workout, and forget about losing weight. I can't afford to forget about it, of course. Since this is an issue that needs urgent attention, if not certain.

I quite miss the folks in Pakistan. Specially Nabeel bhai - which just reminds me - he sent a message a couple weeks ago to tell me to respond when I see it, and I haven't... oops... will do that now... *goes away* back... done that. I just called him from Google Voice, but he didn't pick up. Hopefully he will see the missed call and call back. Or at least know that I called. Either way, I will write him an email to tell a few things. That's one person I have sorely missed.

Another person that I have missed is Meraj Khattak. Ab unka main kia kahoon! he was like an elder brother that I never had. This guy... May Allah kepe him happy forever. This life and the next.

Basically... most of the world these days is filled with asses. People who think being proven right is the cool thing. People who think coming up with snide remarks is a good thing. People who think being badass in life is a good thing. People who'd go the extra mile to take revenge. To prove themselves. People who "don't take shit". People who "can be a bitch when it's needed". And so is the case with America, and so was the case with Pakistan. But when in Pakistan, I had the good fortunate of being in the company of Nicest people around! Who'd constantly be scared of saying anything wrong, who would strive to see the greatness in people, who would forgive and ask for forgiveness, people who knew a lot, yet never acted too confident, who always attributed knowledge and success to Allah, who left you feeling good about yourself. Who told you your problems, with solutions, in private. Who didn't insult, mock, taunt, swear, backbite, laugh at, talk down, or argue. These are the people I miss.

Tonight I am happy because I am sad for you.

Few things I learned

That I am slowly losing...

1. Not indulging in gheebat. Not even letting the general conversation go in that direction. Not only not doing it, but not even letting it happen.

2. Being thankful about everything that happens, that is happening.

3. Seeing the good in everyone.

4. Not seeing the bad in everyone. There's good and bad in Everyone, so you can see bad if you set your mind to it. You have to train yourself to not see it. I had started doing it. Now I am seeing bad in others once again.

5. Remembering Allah when I feel lonely, so never feeling lonely. Losing this one slowly too.

6. Being comfortable with being by myself. Now I seem to require company.

7. Reading. Haven't read anything in a long time.

8. Writing. This one's kinda obvious, to you guys at least? No? Well, actually not. I have private blogs, that are now gathering dust. So yeah.

Yet Another To-do List

Yet Another Todo List.

I keep making the lists of stuff I want to write about... and I keep forgetting the stuff I need to write about those stuff... so the lists stay.. mocking me.. teasing me... I wonder why it happens... I guess it happens because I keep waiting for the right mood... the right zone... when words are already flowing out of my ... where do words exactly flow out of when you're writing a blog? mouth? mind? hands? keyboard? whatever... so... I keep waiting for when I am in the right zone... and then those thoughts, those incidents, those stories... they remain untold, and fade away and get buried in the graveyard of so many such stories.

EDIT:

A friend came over when I was in the middle of writing this one. The paragraph above was only meant to be an introduction to an actual list :)

I have had some travelling recently... (Will it be called recently? It was in the last four months) and I have some stories to tell from that. I always have stories. Just a couple of nights ago, I remember saying to a friend 'so something amazing happened today...' and he cut me right there.. Saad amazing things keep happening to you all the time... so let it pass. I guess it what he really meant was that I have a knack of describing ordinary things as amazing. Amazing is that which amazes. I get amazed at seemingly ordinary things. It's a misfortune other people don't. They need to spend so much time and effort just to get amazed.

I made a trip to Ohio. That was in October. It was a very refreshing trip. I mat few great great people. I just realized what I had been missing out on in terms of spirituality since coming here. Great company really shows you what poor company is. I realized I have been, and usually am, in a very poor, negative company. It's better to be alone than that.

Even before this trip, there was another trip, to Austin, Texas. That had a couple of stores I actually can share here. I will write about them when they want to come out of me. Now... now my eye lids just feel heavy. And I have made the mistake of drinking coffee... so while my eyes feel like they need rest... my brain totally wants to work... ah... the brain... my brain is an ass.

What else? Hmmm... I can't remember... Let me come up with a name for that friend of mine... the one who came over when I had just begun to write this post... though I am always very cautious of calling someone my 'friend' - that word has a lot of Claim to it. A lot of promise. It means I would have to do so many things. So I prefer to keep people at distance. As associates? acquaintances. Not all people though. Some people I make friends with in three of four meetings. Others I just like. Like to help, that is. I will come up with a name later. Or ask him.

Some people from South Africa came here. Why? They traveled all the way for SA to here. With their wives. For forty days. You already know where this is going, don't you? They came here to meet Muslims, and remind us what our purpose in life is. For some, it's a reminder, for some it's news. It's amazing how people call themselves Muslim, and forget what it means. One of my professors used to say... Being a non-practicing Muslim is like being a non-practising virgin. It just doesn't make sense! You can say you find it difficult to do so, but you can't just say you don't choose to. You have chosen to! Already! If you didn't choose to, and are not fine with it. Then resolve it... it's not a small thing that can be just dusted off, it has to be understood, believed in. Perhaps - we all think about it. We all question it when push comes to shove. For most people it's a mid-life crises. That's exactly the time when they ask themselves, what's it all about? So those people came. From South Africa. And I hung out with them in the masjid. It was great experience. A good reminder. I made some resolutions. Some plans. So far, so good. Let's see. I don't know. Great things happened. My sleep cycle is now perfect... Haha.. those who know me, would know this is something I have always struggled with. And this has also been the biggest problem in my life. My sleep. Now it's okay. For past.... 5 days? I guess... hahaha... Let's see.

What other stories? I was coming from masjid one day. It was morning time, 8 am probably. 4 degrees C below freezing. The dew on the grass and the cars has frozen, making it look like there was thick white dust on every thing. The grass looked as it was tired and old. It's hair greying, growing white. It was cold. I was talking on phone with my mom for a good fifteen minutes, and my right hand had gotten pretty cold. The bus came. I got onto the bus. Darryl said 'Assalam O Alykum' - he always greets me with salam. I always shake hands with him. My hand was very cold. He was in the bus, warm. He took his right glove off to shake hands. He could have done it with the glove on. Haaye! Ikhlas... Allah hum sabko bhi ikhlas ata farmaye. 

How to find and do work you love: Scott Dinsmore

I feel like talking, but I have nothing to talk about.

I could go on and on about my day, or days, but they haven't been interesting.

I stopped working out. I don't know why. Cold? Laziness? I don't know. I can't just shove everything I don't do, or back out from doing under the blanked of 'laziness'; because... what is laziness, really? Is it a property in me that I can't change? Or a habit I have acquired? So out of the blue I just stopped working out because I have a habit of being lazy? Why did that habit kick in then, and not later? Because it got tougher then? And I like doing easy things? Because the risk of failure increases and I am scared of failure? As I write this, these are the ideas that my mean friend, the back of my mind, is giving me. But you know that? I would totally believe except that this time, with this workout thing, it wasn't the case. The workout was tough to begin with, if anything it got easier as I learned and mastered the correct techniques. So No. I can't agree to this line of reasoning of habit of laziness kicking in.

What is it then?

I don't know.

This post isn't even about working out, or not working out, or laziness, or what laziness is... It isn't even about anything. One thing programming, or being a student of programming and discrete maths and logic and philosophy, and being a student of Basit Bilal Koshul has has taught me, is to keep a track of how my argument (if it's an argument, if not, then... view?) is flowing from one concept to the other. And I often realize that I am talking, and not connecting to the initial point (when I have it)... sometimes I stop mid-discourse, and admit to not having an initial intention... and shut up.

So? What was I saying? that I wanted to talk... that I didn't have anything to talk about. That my days have become lazy, pointless. I need a haircut. I am insecure about my hair. I hate it how I lost so much hair when I dieted the last time, now, even if I grow then long, they just look... they don't look like hair. I will get them cut short. I don't grow them long. Whatever.

Two coffees. I have had two coffees since getting up, in the last six or so hours. I was so excited when I had made my first cup. That I would read something. But before I get in to reading something serious from the books, I wanted to waste some time online. That was a deliberate choice. You know, the enjoy kind of wasting? The indulgence? Except that, I didn't decide how I was gonna do it, and how much I was gonna do it. And guess what, I didn't even waste it, it just got wasted. I didn't even do the things I do to waste time! And I wasn't even entertained. Heck I didn't even read any intellectual masterbation articles! I didn't even chat with anyone! I called my mom, and asked her to have skype with me, and even that didn't even happen! I didn't even text back the people I had missed calls from! There was nothing even on facebook or tumblr to waste time with. I guess that's when I had another coffee? I don't know... had cereal. both times today. Had sandwiches in between. Nothing that made me happy. If only I had walked to the Pizza Hut, and had even a pizza, that would have qualified as genuine time waste! That would have made me do serious reading. Mind you, this reading also, is not my course reading.. it's just.. somehow, it's connected to some goals in life. And so, in my heart, I feel that if I do that, I would feel good about myself. And so my nafs wouldn't let me do that. If would say, if you want to enjoy so you can work, you need to do some useless effing thing so you can enjoy. What a loser state of mind to be in! What a loser habit to have?

Oh God. This exploratory post is not turning out so well.

Prayer. Isha is left, haven't offered Isha yet. That will help. That always does. Isha does. It puts me at peace, mostly.

Paper, term paper. I have to write. Still have a good one and a half day for it. Ah... well. Whatever.

Saad...tum bhi Saad.

How do you like it here?

Some more conversations from US.

I never said I was gonna paint all rainbows and sunshine.

E: Humain Lums main milna chahiye tha... main tumhain itna neechay na girna deta (We should have met earlier, when you were in college. I wouldn't have let you fall that low)

With regards to my transition to a rather religious lifestyle.

T: When I used to look at you, I used to fear kahin yah namoona Pakistan ka na ho (I feared this idiot isn't from the same country I am from) I was very happy when people told me you're from Afghanistan.

I am Not from Afghanistan.

T: So why don't you dress up like humans?

Regarding my following sunnat dress.

A: I told my friends you should meet him, he's not that bad.

Again, in reference to my appearance.

Please account for selective recall, given that I reproduce this all from my memory.

Also - a person processes thoughts different depending on which mood she's in right now, so I might have has different moments to post right now if I were in a different mood. Might.