Random Blurb

When I was coming to America... in the first few days, I thought I would always be writing to this blog, every now and then, about every this and that. Actually no, not every this and that, but I thought I would be writing a Lot about halal food incidents... and how there would be so many incidents of me not eating, explaining, others arguing.... But that didn't happen... I guess I lost the passion to explain/educate people. And the ones I eat with, learned and respect my eating habits, and so things have been going in this department without any incident. So that's that.

I also thought I would lose a lot of weight. I think that every month. Hahaha... I think the reason really is that in my mind, I think that it's okay to be fat, if I can run and walk and job and lift and be strong and whatever. Also, I think that I think it's okay to overeat if you are gonna work out. I think I don't understand diet, while believing that I understand it. I mean, the coffee that I drink like water is 250 Calories! Anyway, quite recently, the plan has been to just workout, and forget about losing weight. I can't afford to forget about it, of course. Since this is an issue that needs urgent attention, if not certain.

I quite miss the folks in Pakistan. Specially Nabeel bhai - which just reminds me - he sent a message a couple weeks ago to tell me to respond when I see it, and I haven't... oops... will do that now... *goes away* back... done that. I just called him from Google Voice, but he didn't pick up. Hopefully he will see the missed call and call back. Or at least know that I called. Either way, I will write him an email to tell a few things. That's one person I have sorely missed.

Another person that I have missed is Meraj Khattak. Ab unka main kia kahoon! he was like an elder brother that I never had. This guy... May Allah kepe him happy forever. This life and the next.

Basically... most of the world these days is filled with asses. People who think being proven right is the cool thing. People who think coming up with snide remarks is a good thing. People who think being badass in life is a good thing. People who'd go the extra mile to take revenge. To prove themselves. People who "don't take shit". People who "can be a bitch when it's needed". And so is the case with America, and so was the case with Pakistan. But when in Pakistan, I had the good fortunate of being in the company of Nicest people around! Who'd constantly be scared of saying anything wrong, who would strive to see the greatness in people, who would forgive and ask for forgiveness, people who knew a lot, yet never acted too confident, who always attributed knowledge and success to Allah, who left you feeling good about yourself. Who told you your problems, with solutions, in private. Who didn't insult, mock, taunt, swear, backbite, laugh at, talk down, or argue. These are the people I miss.

Decision Making and Negotiation

Anchoring - the right way to start
BATNA - Best Alternative to the Negotiated Agreement. What happens if you don't come to an agreement. Let me be clear what are my benefits and costs of negotiations.
Emotions - could be in favor/against you. What emotions do you want there to be?

When fighting, at the end one of the two will one. But the longer the fighting goes on, both parties lose more, in the sense that both are miserable. So the earlier the parties can agree on who's going to win, the less both parties will suffer.

"Yes Dear" is a good thing to say.

If you reward people for behavior that they're intrinsically motivated to do, after a while, the reward takes the place of the intrinsic motivation, and people aren't intrinsically motivated.

So, don't get rewarded in money for stuff you love doing. Just don't do it for the money.

Principle of Loss Aversion

People hate losing more than they love gaining.

So if I want to enforce people to behave a certain way, fining them for undesirable behavior will be more effective than rewarding them for desirable behavior.

So, punishment is more effective than rewards.

But what happens when you take them away? In which case, does the behavior continue?

In case of punishments, the behavior resumes to what it was. In case of rewards, the newly learned behavior goes on.

So, while present, punishment maybe more effective than reward. But if you want the behavior to continue, you should reward.

source: I am taking this Irrational behavior course on coursera.org taught by Dan Ariely from Duke, so all these psych posts in the next few days will be from there.

Dog Poop Problem

Two kinds of signs for a rule: 

1. The sign board that says we shouldn't do it. 

2. The clues that everybody else is doing it. 

Which one would you follow? The second is Most important. 

Okay. So How we do we go from one situation where one thing we're trying to curb is the accepted norm?

First - there's never a good day to enforce (regulate) it. There's no smooth transition. There's has to be a quick transformation. So, announce a day that the change is going to occur. Have people subscribe to it, so they all have agreed to it. Then start using huge fines to start curbing it that day. 

source: https://class.coursera.org/behavioralecon-002/lecture/135

Tonight I am happy because I am sad for you.

The Planning Fallacy

Whenever you're planning for some activity, try estimating it will take you twice as long, and then it might get done on time.