Ghurbat maal o dolat se mehroom honay ka naam nahin hai, ghurbat bhari dunya main tanha honay ka naam hai.
Poverty is not when you have no money, poverty is when in the whole wide world, you're all alone.
— Dr Amjad Saqib, Akhuwat Foundation
What others say and I like.
Mostly an archive of internet articles I want in one place, with some of my writing and rumination sprinkled here and there.
Ghurbat maal o dolat se mehroom honay ka naam nahin hai, ghurbat bhari dunya main tanha honay ka naam hai.
Poverty is not when you have no money, poverty is when in the whole wide world, you're all alone.
— Dr Amjad Saqib, Akhuwat Foundation
https://www.nytimes.com/1964/04/06/archives/macarthur-leaves-a-spiritual-legacy-prayer-for-his-son.html
WASHINGTON, April 5 (AP) —General of the Army Douglas MacArthur is leaving a spiritual legacy to his son, Arthur —a father's prayer that he wrote in the Philippines during the desperate early days of the Pacific war.
According to the General's biographer and confidant, Maj. Gen. Courtney Whitney, the family repeated this MacArthur prayer many times during early morning devotions:
“Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.
“Build me a son whose wishes will not take the place of deeds; a son who will know Thee—and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.
“Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.
“Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high, a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men, one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.
“And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity or true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, and the meekness of true strength.
“Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, ‘I have not lived in vain.’”
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First, get the reasons for losing motivation out of the day.
1. Not seeing results.
Maybe you're not sticking to it, stick to it for 1-3 months. You will get results.
Trying things and realizing something's not for you, it's part of the journeey.
2. How much you care about fitness?
Decide for yourself, how much you care about it.
Overweight happy people. They say they're gonna die somehow, so why not with disease.
How fit do you want ot be?
How much do you care about fitness? If not much. Think about some fun things. playing Tennis? Badminton? Walking? Hiking? Take a look into VR sports.
3. Lifestyle and Diet
Is your sleep and food in check?
If you're sleep deprived and exhausted, how can you feel like exercising? Your body is telling you to rest, because that's what you need.
If your nutrition if out of balance, you don't have enough nutrients to work out. Your body is telling you you're famished.
Tiny hinges swing big doors.
Procrastination can be a difficult habit to break, but there are several strategies you can use to overcome it:
It is important to keep in mind that progress takes time and effort, and that it may be difficult to overcome procrastination in a short period of time. Be kind and patient with yourself.
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama
A few years back, I worked in a medical practice.
I’d always been fascinated with medicine, and the position allowed me virtually free reign within the practice. I was able to sit in at the operating room during procedures, learn about the medical billing process, chat with patients in the physical therapy unit, and much more.
Basically, the position was a great fit for me, but I still wasn’t happy at work.
Even though I had exposure to many areas, I was rarely given the responsibility I thought I deserved. My opinions seemed to count for very little, and I only had a few friends within the practice—if you could call them that.
Even though I was in a good job in the field that I loved, I still left each day feeling a little less happy with my decision to work there. I didn’t hate my job, but was this really what I was hoping for? I would think things like, “Is this as good as it’s going to get for me?” Or “Is this job going to make me happy, or am I going to be stuck in neutral forever?”
It’s easy to fall into this trap of mediocrity. In the beginning, you might be excited to start something new. But pretty soon you fall into a routine, and then one day you wake up and feel like you’re sleep walking through each work day.
The good news is that life doesn’t have to be perfect for you to find happiness at work. Here are six ways that I turned the sadness ship around and found joy at my job.
One of the key indicators of happiness is having a strong social network.
It’s easy to hate your job when you don’t know your co-workers. And it’s even easier to keep hating it if you continue to avoid them. The situation isn’t going to change if your actions stay the same.
In my case, when I came in, I was training with one person for the first week. They were nice, but they didn’t introduce me to anyone else. After that week, everyone was used to seeing me walking the halls, but they were also used to not talking with me. Before I knew it, I had been there two months and barely knew anyone.
When I finally broke the silence, I found out that many of my co-workers were great.
Don’t let another day go by without learning about your co-workers. Friends don’t just fall into people’s laps. You have to make an effort and get to know them. Reach out to your co-workers and be curious about their lives. Two people have never become friends without one of them starting the conversation.
So often, we worry about protecting ourselves at work. We look at situations not as opportunities to grow but as a chance to fail. We view new ideas with skepticism. The thought that is always in the back of our minds is, “Will this make me look bad?”
The result is that we seldom take advantage of the opportunities before us.
If you feel like you’re always on the defensive on your job, then take a deep breath and look for an opportunity instead. Take joy in the fact that there is always a new project to start in the workplace. It doesn’t matter what you do or where you work, there is always something new that could be done.
Instead of punching the clock and settling in to the same routine, take some time to search for new opportunities. Constantly defending yourself is draining for everyone involved. You’ll find it much easier—and pleasant—to look for opportunities to grow instead of trying to protect yourself.
When you’re feeling down, there are few actions that can help lift your spirits as much as helping someone else.
When I felt stuck, I reached out to a doctor in the practice who was working on some exciting new research. His study was interesting, but he was too busy (and thought he was too important) to do some of the grunt work.
I offered to do it for him. As a result, I worked on groundbreaking research and helped the doctor move forward with his project. After that, he became one of my biggest advocates.
Help someone else solve a problem and you just might solve some of your own.
Becoming a more important piece of the puzzle is a sure fire way to improve your attitude at work.
It’s easier to feel excited when you know that your opinion counts. Taking on additional responsibilities will make you feel more respected and valued in the workplace.
If you don’t know where to start, ask your supervisor for suggestions on projects where you can help out.
If you hate something about your job, then have the courage to ask if you can change it.
If you sit around and expect someone else to change your situation, then you’re going to be sitting for a long time. People are too busy with their own jobs to worry about whether or not you’re satisfied with your role.
Want to get away from a co-worker who annoys you? Ask if you can move to a different department. Want to work on a different project? Ask if you can help out with something new. Want a promotion? Ask your boss what you can do to start working towards it. Want a raise? Ask if you can take on more responsibility and prove that you’re worth more.
You can’t be overbearing or nagging, of course, but you’ll be surprised by how easily you can get what you want if you start asking for it.
Most of us are happy when people say good things about us. When you do good things for other people, you create happiness for them and set the stage to receive it in return.
For example, compliments are so simple that we often forget about them, but they are so powerful that we should never take them for granted.
If you want to gain the respect of your co-worker, then send them a note about the great presentation they gave last week. If you want to receive the praise of your boss, then praise him first. If you want to catch the eye of the new CEO, then compliment her on the job she has done so far.
You can take this strategy a step further by not being as picky as well. For example, if you’re giving a presentation and your co-worker gets their part 80% right, then don’t worry about correcting them. In the vast majority of situations, it’s far more important to remain a united team than it is to correct every detail.
Try spending a day giving out compliments instead of criticizing people. Gaining respect and happiness in the workplace is easy when good will is abundant.
Finding happiness is as much about the decisions and actions you take as it is about having good things happen to you. And remember, if you don’t enjoy your life, change it! Doing the same thing today will create the same results tomorrow. Try some of these strategies and put yourself in a position for happiness.
I listened to this video when it was released, and I loved it. After having worked as an advisor to the CEO of a tech company for the last two years, I went back to this video, and now I am loving it even more, so much so that I am taking notes from it and writing them here.
1. Don't care for credit. You will be rare, you will be valued like so. If you are heading an institute of your own, then it makes sense to care for credit, otherwise as an employee, let the credit go for those who seek it. You get things done. Everything is possible in Pakistan, if you don't care about who gets the credit.
2. The cost of success is to be toleratent of envy, injustice and lies. You will constantly be bombarded with if you are on the path to success.
3. Hamdardi → Khairat. You want to do charity for someone, give him charity, don't give him a job. IF he's eligible, let him apply on the basis of egligibility not victimhood.
4. Qualified/Suitable → Job. If someone is capable for a job, don't withhold it. Don't get caught up in language, cast, creed etc.
5. Relatives → Stipend. If your relative comes to you for financial help, don't give them a job, and also don't give them charity. Give them a scholarship. Pay their MBA fees, pay for their course, pay for their English language learning etc. Do muzarba with him in a way that their skills go up.
6. Status → Friendship. If a person of status of influence cross path with you, befriend him. Don't give him job. He will help you get unblocked in life.
7. Paisa painkh, tamasha dekh Things that can get unblocked by giving "some money", get it done. (This is the author's point of view, I do not agree with it)
8. Be scared of people's Egos. People will tolerate everything, love you, care for you, but kill you if you hurt their egos.
9. Value Intelligence. It's rare to find Intelligence and Hardworking together. Intelligent peopel are usually not hardworking. If you come across intelligent people, don't entangle them in "hard" work, let them do what they want to do.
10. Save the person. One person cheats you, you make one policy, another cheats you, you make another policy. In the end, after working with 100 people, you're left with thousands of policies; an innocent sincere hardworking person comes to work with you, and he feels suffocated because of all those thousands of policies. If sincere people fail to follow rules, relax the rules, or ignore the rules, but save the person.
11. Selfish Leaders. If someone comes to you, and says 'I don't care about your vision/mission/impact. Tell me what salary I will get, how much and what work I will have to do.' Value such people. They're rare. You can hand over the entire company to them, and since they're moving towards a goal, they will take your company to that goal. The person is here to make trade with you, not be your disciple.
12. Don't be a critic. Do the work, stop critisiing other people and their jobs. And when you're criticising other people, you're not listening to anything new.
13. Don't listen to appreciation. If a kam-zarf gives you appreciation, it's worse than humiliation.
14. Honesty. If you're honest in Pakistan, you're a rare gem. Honor your commitments, if you do that, you will be valued like a diamond. Your quality should be with your name, and not with the compensation.
Hope you’re in hot pursuit of excellence on this gift of a day (you’ll only get this day once in your entire lifetime so I encourage you to use it well).
The reality is the great achievers + game-changers just did DIFFERENT (and seemingly strange) things.
So in my ongoing devotion to help you create a life you adore and reach rare-air success, I’ve distilled the unusual things the best performers do into this quick list. Read it now:
Wishing you all success and epic performance.
https://www.mattringel.com/2013/09/30/you-must-try-and-then-you-must-ask/
I like working with grownups.
Here’s an example:
When I was a wee little New Hire at my current employer, one of the things that came up a lot was the “15 minute rule.” That is, if you’re stuck on a problem, take a solid 15 minutes to bash your brain against it in whatever manner you see fit. However, if you still don’t have an answer after 15 minutes, you must ask someone. I shorten this down to “You must try, and then you must ask.” It’s a simply-worded rule, which works something like this:
If you’ve hit the point of giving up, you have to push yourself for another 15 minutes. The pressure is now off. You know that in 15 minutes, you’ll be able to take what you found and talk to another person about it and get their help. For right now, all you have to do is step back and look at the whole problem from the top. Maybe you’ll find the solution that was sitting there all along. Maybe you’ll convince yourself it’s completely unsolvable. Whatever you end up doing, those next 15 minutes are where you look at the problem one more time.
During those 15 minutes, you must document everything you’re doing so that you can tell someone else. So, what does “look at the problem one more time” mean? It means taking notes. Lots of them. I’m a big fan of using a paper notebook with an excruciatingly fine-point pen, because I don’t need to move windows out of the way to keep writing in it, and I can fit a lot of words on a single page. Use what you like, but keep writing. Write down all the steps, all the assumptions, everything you tried, and anything you can do to reproduce the problem. More likely than not, you’ve now probably figured out at least one other way to solve the problem, just by getting it out of your head and onto paper.
After that, you must ask someone for help. Okay, you’ve decided you need help, and you’ve spent another 15 minutes looking at the problem again (and again (and again)), and you’ve documented your approach.
Now, stop.
Stop trying to solve the problem, if only for a moment.
Call for help. Even if you think that you almost have it, stop. Even if you think that an incarnation of the wisdom of the masters is perched on your shoulder whispering the answer in your ear, stop. Write that email or walk over to the office/cube/etc. or cast the appropriate summoning spell, but make sure that someone else knows that you need help. Request assistance, state the problem, and show your work. You may not get help right away, but now you’ve employed at least one other brain in helping you, and now they have a great head-start, courtesy of you.
So, that’s the 15 Minute Rule in 3 easy steps.
Here’s why it’s important:
Your paid hours are costing someone money. You can be in a Professional Services Organization, an internal IT organization, or an independent contractor, but it all works out to the same thing; someone is paying for your skills. While it may feel good to figure out the answer on your own, there’s no medal for wasting 3 hours worth of money on a problem that doesn’t merit that kind of time. In a sneaky way, this also helps you value your own time, if only by making you ask yourself “Is this problem worth this much of my time?”
Your colleagues will help you because they’re playing by the same rules. This means they’re used to asking and listening to informed questions, and they’ll be expecting the same from their peers. Needless to say, use your common sense… find someone that isn’t heads-down in a problem of their own; no one likes to have their flow interrupted. That being said, your colleagues will know that if you come over to ask for help, you’ll already have taken time to look it over and documented your findings so they can help you figure out the problem faster or point you in the right direction. It’s possible you’ll end up Rubber Duck Debugging the problem, and the act of talking through the problem will help you solve it.
Last but certainly not least, You have to interact with your colleagues because they have the answers you need. Building and maintaining an enterprise software platform (to choose something of appropriately fiendish complexity) is not a solo sport. Your colleagues have different ways of understanding problems and different ways of using the knowledge they have. This goes for many definitions of colleague and many definitions of knowledge.
This eventually turns into a virtuous cycle. People value each others’ time and their own, so they do their own homework before asking a question. In turn, people are more likely to answer questions because they know the person asking will give them the interesting part of the problem to solve.
Put another way: by explicitly taking enough time, everyone saves time.
is that you have to tackle your demons yourself, alone. You report every positive news, share celebrations, and create love between people. When someone says a nice thing about someone else, you immediately report it. But when someone does a bad thing, a hurtful thing, and you're hurting, you can't share it with anyone. You gotta keep it yourself, bury it in the graveyard. You gotta be the bigger person, you gotta be resilient, you gotta move on.
No one to console you big boy.
The twenty Janissaries had sworn they would never surrender. The extremities of famine to which they were reduced, obliged them to eat our two eunuchs, for fear of violating their oath. And at the end of a few days they resolved also to devour the women.
"We had a very pious and humane Iman, who preached an excellent sermon, exhorting them not to kill us all at once.
"'Only cut off a buttock of each of those ladies,' said he, 'and you'll fare extremely well; if you must go to it again, there will be the same entertainment a few days hence; heaven will accept of so charitable an action, and send you relief.'
"He had great eloquence; he persuaded them; we underwent this terrible operation. The Iman applied the same balsam to us, as he does to children after circumcision; and we all nearly died.
"Scarcely had the Janissaries finished the repast with which we had furnished them, than the Russians came in flat-bottomed boats; not a Janissary escaped. The Russians paid no attention to the condition we were in. There are French surgeons in all parts of the world; one of them who was very clever took us under his care—he cured us; and as long as I live I shall remember that as soon as my wounds were healed he made proposals to me. He bid us all be of good cheer, telling us that the like had happened in many sieges, and that it was according to the laws of war.
This article was published here originally. I copied it here for posterity.